Photo: alyssa scott/ instagram

alyssa scott

Alyssa Scottis opening up about her grieving process this holiday season.

On Thursday, Scott shared an emotional post on her Instagram Story about how she is mourning the loss of her andNick Cannon’s 5-month-old son Zen, who died on Dec. 5 of abrain tumorand would have been celebrating his first Christmas this year.

“I am thinking of all who are grieving this holiday season. I am also reading your messages and keeping them close to me during this time. Love ❤️,” the model adds.

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alyssa scott/ instagram

alyssa scott

“I have had it laying out since thanksgiving,” she writes.

Earlier this month, Scott shared anemotional tributeon Instagram to Zen and the times she shared with him before his death. The post — a video montage — was paired with Jhené Aiko’s song “Promises,” and Scott wrote a heartfelt message in the caption.

“Oh my sweet Zen. The soreness I felt in my arm from holding you is slowly fading away. It’s a painful reminder that you are no longer here,” she wrote. “I caught myself looking in the backseat as I was driving only to see the mirror no longer reflecting your perfect face back at me. When I close a door too loudly I hold my breath and wince knowing a soft cry will shortly follow. It doesn’t come. The silence is deafening.”

“These last 5 months we have been in this race together. We would hand the baton off to each other. You kept me going. It would be the middle of the night and you would smile at me. A surge of energy would fill my body and pure joy would radiate from within me,” Scott continued. “We were a team, both determined to see it through. It feels unbearable running without you now. I can’t.”

The video showed Zen over the previous few months, including shots of him playing with a toy piano, taking a bath, and even moments from the hospital. Scott also shared a photo of her rocking Zen in her arms as he looked up at her.

Cannon, 41, first revealed the tragic news of Zen’s death on his daytime talk showNick Cannonon Dec. 7.

NIck Cannon rollout

Amid their grief, Cannon and Scott are focusing on the good that came from their short time with Zen.

source: people.com