Photo:Will Hawkins
Will Hawkins
Jason and Erica Redman are ready to share their secrets to lasting love.
The retired Navy SEAL and his wife — who have been married for nearly 24 years and are parents to three adult children — claim they don’t have the perfect union, but that some simple ground rules have helped them weather turbulent times, including a life-altering injury he experienced while serving in Iraq.
“When Erica and I got together, I said, ‘Hey, this is a really hard job. I’m going to be gone all the time. It’s dangerous. Sometimes, I won’t be able to tell you where I am. Oftentimes, I’m going to miss holidays,’ “ Jason, a 49-year-old Purple Heart recipient, tells PEOPLE in an exclusive interview.
What’s more, he says he even quipped that “really what you should do is run.”
“That began the ongoing joke throughout our entire marriage,” he adds. “I mean, even to this day we often joke with each other like, ‘Hey, is it too late to run?’ ”
Instead, the couple have found that being outspoken and communicating — as well as having a sense of humor — has been the key to staying together, despite a reportedlyhigh divorce rateamong Navy SEAL couples.
Erica, 47, tells PEOPLE that the lessons they’ve learned over the years seem so simple — but, she adds, “I think it’s simple things that people mess up all the time.”
In their new book,Mission: Invincible Marriage, the Redmans are sharing all their tips for having a strong and enduring relationship.
William Morrow
When it comes to relationships, instead of having adversarial interactions — where one person is always “right” in the relationship — couples should view themselves as a unit.
“Your spouse should be your most important teammate,” Jason says, but cautious that “doesn’t mean that you can’t have your own goals and dreams.”
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He also hung a sign outside his room, cautioning those who entered to check their pity at the door.
“Attention to all who enter here. If you are coming into this room with sorrow or to feel sorry for my wounds, go elsewhere,” read the sign. “The wounds I received I got in a job I love, doing it for people I love, supporting the freedom of a country I deeply love. I am incredibly tough and will make a full recovery.”
After 21 years of service, Jason retired from the military in 2013, and since then has pursued an array of careers that span motivational speaking to owning a whiskey seltzer company.
Of course, that’s not the only thing that’s changed over the years.
Although as they’ve both matured and changed — becoming “different people” with “different dreams” — there’s one essential thing that’s remained consistent: their “friendship and love for each other.”
That, he adds, “has stayed the same.”
source: people.com
