Jada Pinkett Smithhas survived a tough childhood, the streets of Baltimore, and even the ups and downs of a Hollywood career. But nothing could have prepared her for the 2022 Oscars — and she was merely a witness.

First of all, she, like a lot of viewers at home, did not think it was real. “When Chris was still standing afterward, I believed my observation to be true:Aha, this IS a skit,” she writes.

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Jada Pinkett Smith Oscars dress green 2022

Jada also gets into more detail about the history between Chris and Will, plus her own history with Chris (this was the second time he had made fun of her at the Oscars, the first time being in 2016).

Here, Jada goes back to the night of March 27, 2022, in an exclusive excerpt fromWorthy,out Oct. 17.

jada pinkett smith worthy book cover

I had my own premonition right before the incident on the Oscar stage. It flashed through my mind as Chris Rock’s face came across the screen as one of the presenters that night. In fact, my stomach clenched. He had been known to take swipes at me — and from the Oscar stage, no less. That had been in 2016, six years earlier, during what became known as #OscarsSoWhite.

Trying to be optimistic, I told myself,A lot of time has passed, it’s the Academy Awards, there are no new misunderstandings, and I’m sure he’ll play nice.But another thought was,He’s not going to be able to help himself.

When Chris came out to present an award, made some jokes, got lots of laughs, and, like comics do, decided to milk his time onstage, he saw me and my bald head and ad-libbed: “Jada, I love ya,G.I. Jane Two, can’t wait to see it.”

Just like I’d thought, he wasn’t able to help himself, and I rolled my eyes.

It’s not until Will yells from his seat back up at Chris to “keep my wife’s name out your f—in’ mouth,” and then repeats it, that I perceive the gravity of the situation, and that, no, it had not been a skit. Even so, I am unclear on the reason why Will is so upset. We had been living separate lives and were there as family, not as husband and wife. But when I hear Will yell “wife” in the chaos of the moment, an internal shift ofOh s— . . . I am his wife!happens instantly.

This is when sixteen-year-old Jada appeared — I’m back in a club back in Baltimore, a fight has broken out, and s— could start popp’n. I’m aware that I’m at the Oscars in a beautiful but very heavy forest-green dress with a high neck, a zipper bodice, and a train a thousand miles long, and I’ve had to stay seated all evening. But no matter how much growth I’ve recently experienced, my old mechanisms are driving, and my mind is racing with,Oh s—, if I have to fight or run, I’m done! I can’t even get up!But no matter what, Will and I are in this together.

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Jada Pinkett Smith cover

For more on Jada Pinkett Smith, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday.

source: people.com