Cory Monteith and Ryan Murphy.Photo: Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic
The death ofCory Monteithleft a lasting impact on the cast ofGleeand its creator,Ryan Murphy.
“Now, if this had happened, I would be like, ‘That’s the end,'” Murphy shared. “Because you can’t really recover from something like that.”
Monteith played Finn Hudson on the popular Fox series from its premiere in May 2009 until his sudden death from a drug overdose at age 31 on July 13, 2013.
Only one month after Monteith’s passing, the show filmed a tribute episode titled “The Quarterback”. According to Ushkowitz, 36, and McHale, 34, the cast was given a choice to appear in the tribute episode at the time, but felt pressured to say no.
“It just felt like an impossible corner we were all put in,” Ushkowitz said. “There’s no right or wrong.”
Glee cast.FOX via Getty Images
McHale added that filming the episode, even with grief counselors on-set, proved to be quite difficult and recalled walking out during his scenes.
“We’re in a scene talking about a character. Obviously we’re talking about our real friend,” he said. “Then there’s a camera on you. When those things happen, you don’t know when you’re going to lose it and not lose it and break down.”
The fifth season of the show, which was in production at the time of Monteith’s death,aired onSept 26. 2013, with the tribute episode airing on Oct. 10.
Murphy expressed that if it were up to him, the show would have “stopped for a very long time and probably not come back.”
“It’s an episode I was able to watch once,” he shared. “And I never looked at it again.”
RELATED VIDEO: Glee Cast Remembers Naya Rivera with Tribute at the GLAAD Awards: ‘Her Best Role Was Her Being a Mom’
Lea Michele, who played Rachel Berry on the series and dated Monteith both on-and-off screen from 2012 until his death, expressed similar feelings aboutthe show’s tributeepisode earlier this year.
“I don’t even remember what I was listening to at the time. Like, nothing. I was just in such a hole,” Michele said as she addressed the crowd.
Lea Michele and Cory Monteith.Christopher Polk/Getty Images
“I’m grateful that [Murphy] asked me. I really, really, really am. Because it needed to be something that felt real for me. But it was also so hard,” she said.
Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories
She added about filming the episode: “I would film it, and then I would run off, and then I would come back. And it was wild and hard, but we healed together, and this song helped.”
source: people.com
